How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
Drool is running out both sides of the drummer's mouth.
What happened when the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took the guitarist two hours to get out.
What is "perfect pitch"?
When you toss an accordian into a toilet bowl without hitting the rim.
Why do rock bands have roadies?
To act as interpreters for the drummer.
If you're in a room with Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Kenny G, but you only have a gun with two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot yourself.
(This one's for Dave..)
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a musician's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
