How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
Drool is running out both sides of the drummer's mouth.

What happened when the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took the guitarist two hours to get out.

What is "perfect pitch"?
When you toss an accordian into a toilet bowl without hitting the rim.

Why do rock bands have roadies?
To act as interpreters for the drummer.

If you're in a room with Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Kenny G, but you only have a gun with two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot yourself.

(This one's for Dave..)
How do you improve the aerodynamics of a musician's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

Slugs have 4 noses.

..where and how?

You can lose your driver's license in Athens, Greece for being "poorly dressed" or "unbathed."

You know you're fucked up when you go to the fridge and fall on your ass because you thought you saw the towel hanging on the bathroom door move like it's going to attack you.. I think I have some sleep to catch up on.

I think the picture says it all..
(Excuse the lighting issues. My phone doesn't do well in the dark.)

We didn't get home until 8 in the morning.

The average person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day.

So that's where all the trees are going..
Oh my god! You're wasting trees! You bastards!

I was going through my pictures and found this one. That was an interesting night down in PA.. And we'll all be down there again Saturday night.

40,000 Americans are injured each year by toilets.

What the hell? Is it because they're stupid, or just stupid? Come on, people.. look at how you're representing our country. It's not like the toilets jump around and try to kill us..

Retards.

This is what happens when you have a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts and arrive at a club five hours before the show actually starts. You start acting like a dumbass and taking pictures in the parking lot.

Add me up! You know you want to.
myspace.com/khm